I've started reading Birthing From Within, which I am intrigued by. So far, it is emphasizing mom-to-be empowerment for birth, coaxing the mother to trust her body and celebrate the process of pregnancy. Main theme so far is to Listen to your body and Trust your instincts as a mother.
This is just the sort of medicine I need right now. As the belly expands to new sizes, I find myself getting a little more anxious about the birth. "How am I supposed to get this baby out?" I find that I still have some fears about it, no matter how well studied I am, how many birth classes I've attended (9 so far), how many birth stories I've heard. It's the element of the unknown. Your body just takes over, so it's a bit nerveracking to relenquish control to it completely.
The book I am reading asks women to face their fears about birth. Here they are:
-Forced into medical intervention/drugs by circumstance
-Water breaking and no contractions start within the 24 hour window
-Emotional breakdown
-Perineal Tears (yick!)
-Not being able to handle pain
-Stalling contractions because I can't relax
-Super long, super hard labor
-The hospital (just has negative connotations)
-Breastfeeding, sortof - It's still a little weird to me
-Looking back and wishing we had done something differently
Things about birth I am excited about:
-Meeting Baby T
-Aaron meeting Baby T
-The awesome, lifechanging, empowering experiences Aaron and I will share
-Overcoming my fears
-Finding out the gender
-Picking out a name
-Feeling strong and womanly
-Amazing things my body can do
-The hormone rush/bonding
-Holding Baby T
What an awesome experience birth is. It is just so...important....and exciting...and nerveracking. All at the same time. You can't hear someone is in labor and not have some of those emotions. Now I need to face my fears and focus on my ability to do this.
I found this Mothering magazine article about labor pain as a nice end to my ramblings.
P.S. A new mom and dad came to talk to our birth class tonight, and she went into labor at 36.5 weeks. ACK! That's only a week away for me. Now I can't stop my brain from going into overdrive about all the work and preparations we have to do. I really need T to hold off until August.
Oh, and updates. 35.5 weeks. I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable these last couple of days - ligaments are holding up a lot of weight, and I can't breathe as well in some positions. But, all in all, still pretty good. T is currently anterior and head down, heartbeat in the 140's - yay!
1 comment:
Ang, seriously, you will be the most amazing laborer ever. Before Gigi was born, I was really shocked that women were so nonchalant about giving birth - it seemed to me that there was nothing so traumatizing in the world, and I wasn't sure why nobody seemed to be traumatized by it (and why some people chose to do it again, and again, and again...). Now, an entire three months later, I talked to Marcos tonight about having another! Granted, I have a horrible memory, but my body gave birth really recently, and I only have happy vibes from it! Accept your fears, feel them, recognize and love them, but also realize that in probably less than one month, you will have so many reasons to feel proud of yourself for overcoming ALL of them...
And I have to tell you truthfully: you writing about your upcoming labor makes me very, very excited for you because you are so well prepared. I will only say this once because I want you to feel absolutely no pressure, but if you are thinking about who you want as support people for your labor and you need an extra person, I'd love to support you. I know that you will have a doula (?) and your mom and Aaron and your family will be around, but if you are thinking about back- ups... ;-) Oh, and keep in mind that labor can be very physically challenging for your supporters as well, so I'd suggest having a few strong people that can rotate the physical support. Especially if you have back labor. Marcos had an aching body for a week after Giovanna was born!
Anyway, I hope that I get to see you soon! Is there a mommy group in the works for this month? We might actually be road tripping to Ohio for the last week of the month, but I hope that you get to meet up because the group is awesome and so supportive. I wonder if making up pertinent questions and then writing them on pieces of paper and then having them go around the room and have each person take one and give their answer would help to facilitate discussion. Especially because the group is getting bigger, it seems like keeping everyone communicating as a group is getting logistically more difficult... just an idea! XOXO
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