A week prior to the birth, I started having mild contractions during Aaron's and my nightly walks and after I went to bed. If I ate or sat on our bithing ball, the cramping usually subsided. I brushed them off as false labor since they felt like menstrual cramps, nothing crazy. We were losing some sleep - me from the cramping and Aaron from the anticipation. Still, I didn't want to get my hopes up, and I kept waiting for these menstrual-like cramps to change into more intense wave-like cramping involving my back and legs (as many people had talked about). Being worried about having a late baby, Aaron and I started trying some natural induction methods -walking, spicy food, massage/pressure points, watching The Notebook (to ellicit oxytocin), etc.
The night of
August 22, Aaron did Bradley relaxation techniques with me to ease contraction pains before bed (simlilar menstrual-like cramping). I fell asleep, and Aaron noticed me start jerking in bed a lot. I woke up later around
2:45 am with what seemed like slightly more intense contractions. I remember being a little miffed I would get yet another semi-sleepless night, especially since I felt the "real deal" was imminent. I got onto the birthing ball to ease pain, and I started make audible noises. Aaron woke up to my moaning about 15 minutes into it. He asked if he could help me downstairs to eat something. After going downstairs, Aaron wanted to start timing the contractions; I thought this was the same thing as the prior nights, not the real deal, so I said no. At Aaron's insistence, we began timing the contractions for 1 hour. They were average 3.5 minutes apart, pretty consistent and strong. I was shocked! I started the night's mantra during this timing:
It’s coming it’s coming… I would say as each contraction came on and peaked until Kai was born. We began furiously flipping through our Labor and Delivery folder to determine which stage of labor we were in.
After I conceded this might indeed be early labor, we decided to start baking our birth plan treats (Carrot Cake Cupcakes), fill the hospital bag with last minute items, and call the midwives. Aaron nervously called the midwives around
4 am and handed the phone to me right after a contraction. Since I was between contractions, I was very lucid and the midwife felt that it wasn't worth us coming to the hospital until things were much more intense.
Look for increasing intensity, not time intervals, she said. Taking her advice, I got a hot shower. Meantime, Aaron was furiously vacuuming and baking, trying to stay busy as he heard my moaning. By
5:30 am or so, my contractions were definitely intensifying. I sat on the birthing ball for most of them, bracing my knees with my hands as each came. My shoulders were tense, and I was trying in vain to relax. My moans were low, since I knew this would help dilation along. I again concede this might be more than early labor,
active labor at most I say. Getting worried, I insist on eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich, to prepare for a longer labor.
All of a sudden, I started getting shaky. Now I was really confused - shaking typically happens in transition labor (the very last part that is quick and super intense). This was all out of order! I hadn't even lost my mucous plug yet.
We decided to call Mom and Dad Palermo and Jennie, our doula, around
6 am. Jennie talked to me on the phone and noted that I had 5 contractions in the last 11 minutes. She urged me to call back the midwives and let them know things are intensifying. Soon after, I lost the mucus plug. Since this is all out of order and my contractions have not changed in type (to wave-like or involving my back/legs), I was still confused. We were nervous about going to the hospital too soon, only to be told to go home. We delayed calling midwives until the on-call shifts switch (
7 am).
Around
7:15 am, we called again. A student midwife listened to me as I went through a few contractions and told Aaron I sound like I’m
working hard, and we should come to the hospital to get checked. Aaron quickly showered, and we put everything in the car. As we went outside, a few of the neighbors saw me moaning loudly through a contraction while leaning on car. I told Aaron to hurry now,
Drive really fast!! We got stuck in Chapel Hill commuter traffic, so the drive took 30 minutes. I was holding up all my weight with the handle above the car door, so as not to put pressure on my hips. Aaron gave me a priesthood blessing in the car, which calmed me down and gave me more resolve.
We arrive at the Women’s hospital right around
8 am, and I had another contraction at the door - moaning with my face in a towel this time. As I stood up, I noticed that my water had partially broken. Aaron hurriedly tried to get valet parking and noticed his pants are unzipped (but does nothing in his panic). In the meantime, someone took me up to Labor and Delivery and put me in a room. Aaron joined me as I get ready for the first cervical check.
Don’t tell me I'm a 2, don’t tell me I'm a 2, I said in desperation. The student midwife says,
Sweetie, I don't think you're a 2 from how you sound. She checks -
You’re a 9! I burst into sobs with relief. The nurse put on a fetal monitor on, and it was kept on for the duration of the birth. They tried to take blood samples, but couldn’t get them all (I was still holding up all my weight on my hands) and gave up. No heparin lock either.
Jennie arrived around
8:15 am, and we braced for a few more contractions on the bed to get to 10 cm. Jennie was on my left, helping me keep my moans low, as they were starting to get higher, and put counter pressure on my low back. Aaron was on my right, telling me how great I am doing in my ear. I am praying out loud
Heavenly Father, please help me, please help me... I got through a few more, with water coming out at each one, and asked for another check.
Just a little lip, they say (this means only one spot on the cervix needs to move to reach full dilation). Following the midwife's advice, I leaned to my left to get rid of the lip. My water fully broke with a
pop, and I felt Kai moving down and lots of pressure. The student midwife checked a third time, and I was a 10. She told me to wait to push until I felt the urge.
I'm scared! I sobbed to Aaron. He encouraged me and told me we were almost there.
I didn't feel an overwhelming urge to push, just a lot of pressure. I decided to try pushing, sitting with my legs back and eyes closed. At first I was grunting, hyperventilating, as I pushed. The midwife told me to slow down and bear down for three breaths.
I can’t! I yelled.
You have to, she says. I told Jennie and Aaron to repeat her pushing instructions at the next contraction; I'd already forgotten them. With coaching, I forced myself to slow down and bear down.
The attending midwife asked me to grab my legs to make a "C" with my back. I can’t do it. I asked to squat. With Jennie under my left arm and Aaron under my right arm, I pushed myself up, squatted, and closed my eyes through the duration of the pushing contractions. Baby Kai was moving down a little more with each one. Aaron, with emotion in his voice, said the baby had dark hair.
We’re going to meet our baby soon, he whispers. The midwife asked me if I want to touch the baby’s head.
No! I say, as I am too focused. I felt myself stretching open, and I tried to slow down so as not to tear. Aaron and Jennie are getting really tired, but don’t say anything to me. My glasses were sliding off my nose from all the sweat on my face. Jennie was helping me focus on breathing, while Aaron was encouraging me. He noticed Kai's head was wrinkled, as the skull bones are overlapping in the birth canal, and Aaron got worried.
It's normal, he's told.
After 25 minutes of pushing, Kai Joesph Towers arrived into the world, screaming. It was
8:43am on
Aug 23, 2010. His due date! He was immediately given to Aaron, who announced
It is a boy! and put him on my belly. Cord clamping was delayed, and Aaron cut the cord after it stopped pulsating. Baby Kai was weighed (7.97 lb) and received a Vitamin K shot.
The placenta came out within 5 minutes. The nurse pushed down on my lower abdomen for a fundal massage – very painful! I had two lacerations near the urethra ("two skid marks" the midwife said) and two lacerations deep in vagina, on the sulcus. The student stitched me up, but kept re-stitching and re-numbing with Lidocaine since she was doing incorrect stitching (
ugh - not fun). In total, I had one hour and ten minutes of stitching, but it should have been closer to 20 minutes! Consequently, I had a hard time breastfeeding or focusing on Kai while all the stitching was going on.
Aaron texted Mom and Dad Palermo to come in the room and said
Meet your new grandson! as they arrived. Lots of Skyping commenced - we talked to Mom and Dad Towers and Aaron's siblings. After a tender moment of reflection, I told Aaron his pants are unzipped;
Oh yeah, I forgot to fix that, he mutters. Our nurse helped me start nursing Kai. After 5 hours of intense labor, only 45 minutes of which were at the hospital (25 of these were pushing), and about an hour of stitching, we are finally taken to the postpartum room. It was a unexpectedly quick birth - Aaron almost delivered him at home! Au naturale - but we didn't even have a choice!
